Blog Archives

Addiction is the deepest, darkest hole in the universe…from Royal Dare #EatingDisorderAwarenessWeek Feb 21-27

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week comes to an end today…but many women and girls will continue to struggle with the seesaw ups and downs of obsessing about our weight.

What makes it even more devastating is when you use drugs to stay thin.

Like meth.

Meet the heroine of my Kindle Worlds story, ROYAL DARE, The Royals of Monterra, Princess Violetta.

My heart went out to this princess from Sariah Wilson’s (Royal Date). Princess Violetta is the younger sister of the hero, Prince Nico, in Sariah’s story.

She’s also a meth addict.

When she goes off to rehab in the States (after being tossed out of a posh London rehab), she doesn’t tell anyone she’s a princess.

Though her British accent and her purse collection (who else but a princess would bring all this stuff to rehab? asked a resident) earn her the nickname of “Princess.” Still, it ain’t easy getting clean…even for a princess.

It’s horrible.

Here’s a short excerpt from ROYAL DARE when Violetta is on meth:

I crashed way sooner than I should have. Meth is an emotional drug and my emotions went into overdrive at this new turn of events. Cold knives cut right through me, my body weighed down like I was filled with wet sand. My whole life, my future slipping away, my mother’s eyes darkening again, but this time so deep and black I knew the light in them would be gone forever.

That was when the truth hit me. It was either pull myself up . . . or never come back. Disappear down that hole forever. It was no fantasy pink tea party down there with flying teapots and spun candy. Addiction was the deepest, darkest hole in the universe, so deep even the red dragon’s fiery breath couldn’t light up its depths.

I couldn’t go there. Not again.

I sat and stared at the test booklet for the longest time and then the worst headache I ever had drilled into my brain. I squeezed my eyes shut to block the pain. That made it worse. I could hear the old clock on the wall ticking. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The Victorian metal hands moving slowly past the curly-q numbers. A strange beast in the world of technology, but comforting somehow. As if time was a living, breathing creature that never failed to find its rhythm and go on. Never stopped, no matter what.

Never gave up.

Princess Violetta didn’t give up. She found the strength to defeat the dragon, but it was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. So if you know anyone battling an eating disorder or you are yourself, you’re not alone. Ask for help. Talk to someone. Don’t be afraid to speak up. We’re all in this together. Knowledge, as they say, is power. I’m here if you need to talk…

~Jina

————-

RD_KindleWorlds

 

ROYAL DARE It ain’t easy getting clean. Even for a princess.

I first met Princess Violetta in Sariah Wilson’s story, ROYAL DATE.

I fell in love with the Monterra family, especially Violetta. I call her the “misunderstood princess.” She has everything—looks, money and a title—yet she fell victim to the seductive power of drugs. Why? I wondered. What led her down this path?

I was intrigued to answer that question, but more importantly, I wanted to know what happened to Violetta when she went to rehab.

How hard is it for a princess to get clean? And will she find her prince when she does?

I answer this question and more in my Kindle Worlds “The Royals of Monterra” story, ROYAL DARE. You can meet see what happened to her afterward in rehab in ROYAL DARE.

==========================================

 

 

Even a Princess can have an Eating Disorder #EatingDisorderAwarenessWeek Feb 21-27

I’ll never forget the time in my life when I’d starve myself, living on fruit and juices and coffee so I could be thin.

Really thin.

A friend remarked to me when they saw my latest Zed card (used for modeling, commercials) that I looked “hungry.”

Who cared if I looked hungry? I was happy, I told myself. I got jobs. I loved working for a local designer and modeling her clothes at teas, charity events, etc. I loved being in Japanese commercials (a story for another day). I loved hosting a cable show shot in San Francisco about Victorian houses, appearing on cable news shows, etc. Heck, I even starved before I did radio interviews just so I’d feel thin on the air.

I was also setting myself up for a fall.

I was on my way to having an eating disorder.

What saved me?

My writing.

I wanted above all to be a writer. Yes, I enjoyed the modeling, hosting jobs, etc., but I was always rewriting the script or coming up with funny quips on air. That led to writing jobs–travel magazine, tech jobs, TV–and I decided I had a better chance as a writer if I wasn’t hungry all the time.

Not everyone is as lucky. You can have an eating disorder at any time in your life. Whether it’s binge eating or starving, it’s painful. You feel like shit. Worse yet if you use drugs.

Like meth.

Meet the heroine of my Kindle Worlds story, ROYAL DARE, The Royals of Monterra, Princess Violetta.

I really enjoyed writing about this princess from Sariah Wilson’s (Royal Date). Princess Violetta is the younger sister of the hero, Prince Nico, in Sariah’s story.

She’s also a meth addict.

When she goes off to rehab in the States (after being tossed out of a posh London rehab), she doesn’t tell anyone she’s a princess.

Though her British accent and her purse collection (who else but a princess would bring all this stuff to rehab? asked a resident) earn her the nickname of “Princess.” Still, it ain’t easy getting clean…even for a princess.

Here’s a short excerpt from ROYAL DARE when Violetta gets her first job in rehab: cleaning the toilets:

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, wishing I could disappear behind the looking glass and go somewhere, anywhere but here.

What did I expect? No one had any privacy. Up at six a.m. every morning except Sunday, then make your bed, something I never did at home. I had no idea how to tuck in the corners. Girls slept in a private wing, but that didn’t stop the boys from sneaking in to check out the new girl. Me. I held my garment bag up to my chest as if it were a shield from their leering looks. I was so upset, I slept in my clothes the first night. I had no one to protect me from them but me. I was going to have to be tough to survive in here. Nothing was sacred. You had a locker to keep your stuff in, but no lock. And I heard they did random drug tests.

So, what did I expect? The Ritz in Paris? I had no one to blame for my predicament but myself.

I was an addict.

And God help me, this was my last chance.

After that scene with Kat and Nico and my parents, I wanted to get clean, honest, but I never expected I’d be cornered in the bathroom with this loser waving a pink toilet brush in my face. Smelly and corroded with brown yuck. It never occurred to me that I was no better than Mia, that we were both in here for the same reason.

Drugs.

I was ashamed, though I said nothing to my family. I never let on how Kat’s admission of her mom’s awful downfall into drugs had affected me. It shocked me, tore me apart to see what happened to her mom. I was good at hiding my feelings when someone hurt me, though Kat didn’t mean to, others did. The sharp pain that crawled through me from my stomach and up to my chest and wouldn’t stop. Then again, I didn’t feel the pain when I was high. And I liked it that way.

This was a new kind of pain, a stabbing not only in my chest but in my brain. An unbelievable craving I couldn’t control, the need to get lost in that euphoric haze, and I had no drugs to get me through. I winced. That was the idea, wasn’t it? Sure, but I thought I was going to a nice rehab with clean sheets and three hot gourmet meals a day with Sundays off to go shopping.

This place sucked.

It was always cold, the rain never stopped and I was stuck here, staring down at a smelly toilet with an Ugly Stepsister bullying me. I teared up. I wanted my phone back. My credit cards . . . my eyelash curler.

I wanted my mother.

Damn, I wanted to go home.

So if you know anyone battling an eating disorder or you are yourself, you’re not alone. Ask for help. Talk to someone. Don’t be afraid to speak up. We’re all in this together. Knowledge, as they say, is power. I’m here if you need to talk…

~Jina

————-

RD_KindleWorlds

 

ROYAL DARE It ain’t easy getting clean. Even for a princess.

I first met Princess Violetta in Sariah Wilson’s story, ROYAL DATE.

I fell in love with the Monterra family, especially Violetta. I call her the “misunderstood princess.” She has everything—looks, money and a title—yet she fell victim to the seductive power of drugs. Why? I wondered. What led her down this path?

I was intrigued to answer that question, but more importantly, I wanted to know what happened to Violetta when she went to rehab.

How hard is it for a princess to get clean? And will she find her prince when she does?

I answer this question and more in my Kindle Worlds “The Royals of Monterra” story, ROYAL DARE. You can meet see what happened to her afterward in rehab in ROYAL DARE.

==========================================

 

 

Heavy lies the Tiara…especially if the Princess is an Addict

One thing I really enjoyed about writing for Sariah Wilson’s (Royal Date) Kindle Worlds Royals of Monterra was how she gave the royal family a history. A gallery of paintings of their ancestors.

Well, I couldn’t resist running with that and aligning the history of the Fiorelli family with the heroine in my Kindle Worlds story, Royal Dare.

Princess Violetta is the younger sister of the hero, Prince Nico, in Sariah’s story.

She’s also a meth addict.

When she goes off to rehab in the States (after being tossed out of a posh London rehab), she doesn’t tell anyone she’s a princess.

Though her British accent and her purse collection (who else but a princess would bring all this stuff to rehab? asked a resident) earn her the nickname of “Princess.” Still, it ain’t easy getting clean…even for a princess.

Violetta laments about her family in the graphic I created and knows she’s on thin ice if she doesn’t get her act together…

~Jina

————-

I first met Princess Violetta in Sariah Wilson’s story, ROYAL DATE.

You can meet see what happened to her afterward in rehab in ROYAL DARE.

I fell in love with the Monterra family, especially Violetta. I call her the “misunderstood princess.” She has everything—looks, money and a title—yet she fell victim to the seductive power of drugs. Why? I wondered. What led her down this path?

I was intrigued tRD_KindleWorldso answer that question, but more importantly, I wanted to know what happened to Violetta when she went to rehab. How hard is it for a princess to get clean? And will she find her prince when she does?

I answer this question and more in my Kindle Worlds “The Royals of Monterra” story, ROYAL DARE.

I hope you enjoy it!

Jina

===========================================

ROYAL DARE It ain’t easy getting clean. Even for a princess.

I am so excited to part of Sariah Wilson’s The Royals of Monterra Kindle Worlds. If you read Sariah’s ROYAL DATE you’ll remember Princess Violetta and her down slide into drugs. When the book ends, she’s off to rehab. In ROYAL DARE, we find out what happened to Violetta.

Tiara Day: A Princess by any other name…

Today is Tiara Day!!

In tribute to princesses everywhere:

dreamstime_xl_6842748

© R. Gino Santa Maria / Shutterfree, Llc | Dreamstime.com

When I was a little girl, a princess I wanted to be

So I got all dressed up looking for a prince to marry me

I searched high and low

But found no beau

As I got older

I got a little bolder

I dressed to kill

But no boyfriend still

What’s wrong with me? I wanted to know

I work so hard to be perfect and I’m always on the go

It’s your shoes, my best friend said, rolling her eyes

Princesses wear sexy shoes to please the guys

Like Cinderella? I said, with her slipper made of glass

Yes, you need sexy stilettos so he’ll make a pass

Not so, I assured her confident and wise

A smart girl knows how to get the guys

Oh yeah? she said, wrinkling her nose

Try it if you dare and forget your woes

So shopping I went stilettos to buy

And sexy undies to get a guy

In the end I got my prince wearing no shoes at all

Like Cinderella, I ran from the Ball

With my handsome prince hot on my tail

My stiletto in hand, looking for me to no avail

What happened, you ask? so curious and fine

How did I find my Valentine?

True, the sexy kicks helped me to catch his eye

But in the end it was something much more sly

Instead of trying so hard Miss Perfect to be

I ended up doing what came naturally

Like a dancing princess, I kicked off my shoes and danced all night

When this gorgeous man grabbed me and wouldn’t let me out of his sight

How did I know he was a man not to be missed?

Take one look at him. It was in his kiss…

===============

Check out my video with my poem put to pictures from http://www.Dreamstime.com and music “Fairytale Waltz” by Kevin MacLeod http://www.incompetech.com :

The Princess and the Stilettos for Valentine’s Day from Jina Bacarr on Vimeo.

 

The Princess and the Magic Shamrock for St. Patrick’s Day

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

So how could I not put up a Princess video with a magic shamrock theme?

Here is the latest in my “Princess Chronicles” — video romance poems about being a princess. In this story, we meet a princess who’s not looking for a prince but a job!!

Imagine if you’re a Princess and you’re out of work. What do you do? Pawn your tiara? Sell your glass slipper on eBay?

What if a fairy tells you a magic shamrock can give you the courage you need to find a job? Find out what happens in “The Princess and the Magic Shamrock.”


The Princess and the Magic Shamrock from Jina Bacarr on Vimeo.

Happy Patrick’s Day!!

Best,
Jina

Music: Skye Cuillin Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com)
%d bloggers like this: