Even a Princess can have an Eating Disorder #EatingDisorderAwarenessWeek Feb 21-27
Posted by Jina Bacarr
I’ll never forget the time in my life when I’d starve myself, living on fruit and juices and coffee so I could be thin.
A friend remarked to me when they saw my latest Zed card (used for modeling, commercials) that I looked “hungry.”
Who cared if I looked hungry? I was happy, I told myself. I got jobs. I loved working for a local designer and modeling her clothes at teas, charity events, etc. I loved being in Japanese commercials (a story for another day). I loved hosting a cable show shot in San Francisco about Victorian houses, appearing on cable news shows, etc. Heck, I even starved before I did radio interviews just so I’d feel thin on the air.
I was also setting myself up for a fall.
I was on my way to having an eating disorder.
What saved me?
I wanted above all to be a writer. Yes, I enjoyed the modeling, hosting jobs, etc., but I was always rewriting the script or coming up with funny quips on air. That led to writing jobs–travel magazine, tech jobs, TV–and I decided I had a better chance as a writer if I wasn’t hungry all the time.
Not everyone is as lucky. You can have an eating disorder at any time in your life. Whether it’s binge eating or starving, it’s painful. You feel like shit. Worse yet if you use drugs.
Meet the heroine of my Kindle Worlds story, ROYAL DARE, The Royals of Monterra, Princess Violetta.
I really enjoyed writing about this princess from Sariah Wilson’s (Royal Date). Princess Violetta is the younger sister of the hero, Prince Nico, in Sariah’s story.
She’s also a meth addict.
When she goes off to rehab in the States (after being tossed out of a posh London rehab), she doesn’t tell anyone she’s a princess.
Though her British accent and her purse collection (who else but a princess would bring all this stuff to rehab? asked a resident) earn her the nickname of “Princess.” Still, it ain’t easy getting clean…even for a princess.
Here’s a short excerpt from ROYAL DARE when Violetta gets her first job in rehab: cleaning the toilets:
I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, wishing I could disappear behind the looking glass and go somewhere, anywhere but here.
What did I expect? No one had any privacy. Up at six a.m. every morning except Sunday, then make your bed, something I never did at home. I had no idea how to tuck in the corners. Girls slept in a private wing, but that didn’t stop the boys from sneaking in to check out the new girl. Me. I held my garment bag up to my chest as if it were a shield from their leering looks. I was so upset, I slept in my clothes the first night. I had no one to protect me from them but me. I was going to have to be tough to survive in here. Nothing was sacred. You had a locker to keep your stuff in, but no lock. And I heard they did random drug tests.
So, what did I expect? The Ritz in Paris? I had no one to blame for my predicament but myself.
I was an addict.
And God help me, this was my last chance.
After that scene with Kat and Nico and my parents, I wanted to get clean, honest, but I never expected I’d be cornered in the bathroom with this loser waving a pink toilet brush in my face. Smelly and corroded with brown yuck. It never occurred to me that I was no better than Mia, that we were both in here for the same reason.
I was ashamed, though I said nothing to my family. I never let on how Kat’s admission of her mom’s awful downfall into drugs had affected me. It shocked me, tore me apart to see what happened to her mom. I was good at hiding my feelings when someone hurt me, though Kat didn’t mean to, others did. The sharp pain that crawled through me from my stomach and up to my chest and wouldn’t stop. Then again, I didn’t feel the pain when I was high. And I liked it that way.
This was a new kind of pain, a stabbing not only in my chest but in my brain. An unbelievable craving I couldn’t control, the need to get lost in that euphoric haze, and I had no drugs to get me through. I winced. That was the idea, wasn’t it? Sure, but I thought I was going to a nice rehab with clean sheets and three hot gourmet meals a day with Sundays off to go shopping.
This place sucked.
It was always cold, the rain never stopped and I was stuck here, staring down at a smelly toilet with an Ugly Stepsister bullying me. I teared up. I wanted my phone back. My credit cards . . . my eyelash curler.
I wanted my mother.
Damn, I wanted to go home.
So if you know anyone battling an eating disorder or you are yourself, you’re not alone. Ask for help. Talk to someone. Don’t be afraid to speak up. We’re all in this together. Knowledge, as they say, is power. I’m here if you need to talk…
ROYAL DARE It ain’t easy getting clean. Even for a princess.
I first met Princess Violetta in Sariah Wilson’s story, ROYAL DATE.
I fell in love with the Monterra family, especially Violetta. I call her the “misunderstood princess.” She has everything—looks, money and a title—yet she fell victim to the seductive power of drugs. Why? I wondered. What led her down this path?
I was intrigued to answer that question, but more importantly, I wanted to know what happened to Violetta when she went to rehab.
How hard is it for a princess to get clean? And will she find her prince when she does?
I answer this question and more in my Kindle Worlds “The Royals of Monterra” story, ROYAL DARE. You can meet see what happened to her afterward in rehab in ROYAL DARE.
Posted on February 24, 2016, in addiction, addiction treatment, Amazon, art, author, books, e-Books, fairy tale, fairytale, glass slipper, heroine, hottie, Kindle, kindle scout, KindleUnlimited, Monterra, new release, princess, pumpkin, romance, sweet romance, writer, Writing and tagged addicted, addiction, addiction treatment, Amazon, coming of age, crown, date, eating disorder, eating disorder awareness week, eating disorders, high heels, kicks, kindle, Kindle Worlds, Monterra, new adult, pink, princess, red, romance, royal, royals, stilettos, tiara. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.